Take action if harm occurs.

Apply Your Knowledge

Harm can be rooted in anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment or ignorance and comes in many forms, including:

Objectionable terms or language
Misgendering
Hurtful comments
The censorship or removal of inclusive instructional materials or displays
The marginalization of Rainbow families
A failure to intervene if adults express disapproval or children are teased, bullied or singled out

Harm can be explicit or implicit. Keep in mind that harm can be perceived or experienced in different ways by different people depending on their unique identities and life experiences.

How to recognize and correct misgendering when it occurs

Misgendering happens when we refer to someone (especially a transgender person) with a pronoun or a form of address that does not reflect that person’s gender identity. Sometimes this is done intentionally to inflict harm. But misgendering is often the result of an honest mistake.

So, what should you do if a colleague informs you that you have misgendered an individual? Sometimes the best way to handle this is to learn the individual’s correct pronouns and use them going forward.

What if someone informs you that you are misgendering them? Learn the individual’s correct pronouns and use them going forward. When this happens, a simple, straightforward apology will usually suffice, such as: “I apologize. I will try not to make this mistake again.” It can be counterproductive to draw attention to yourself by expressing regret or overexplaining.

How to respond if a parent/caregiver or colleague reports harm

We strive to create learning environments that protect children and adults from harm. To achieve this goal, we must not allow harm to go unchecked or conflict to fester in our relationships or within our early childhood programs. To maintain a safe and affirming environment for everyone, it is critically important to intervene when harm occurs and encourage all parties to share their concerns.

The following suggestions will help you facilitate an open and constructive dialogue:

Listen without judgment and show care and concern.
When parents or caregivers feel excluded or misunderstood, approach the situation as a problem to be solved. Consider their perspectives and demonstrate your commitment to finding an equitable solution.
Listen actively and continue to ask questions until you fully understand the perspectives of those who have been harmed.
Be reflective. Express your willingness to reveal and reduce bias, accept feedback, and cultivate self-awareness.
Commit to following up rather than assuming that everything is okay.

Be proactive! Collaborate with your colleagues to prevent harm and develop a plan of action to address harm when it inevitably occurs.

As hard as we try to respect diversity, we must be prepared to accept the fact that we may unintentionally cause harm. If harm occurs, take the following steps:

Demonstrate humility and a willingness to learn how to do better.
Try to assess the situation from all points of view.
Reflect on the fears, beliefs, knowledge gaps, or misperceptions that may have led you to inflict harm.
After identifying these factors, build your knowledge. As you learn more, do better!

By becoming more self-aware—and more sensitive to the experiences of others—we can prevent harm, solve problems when they arise, and create a more welcoming and affirming community for everyone.